Doreen's 24 Hour Eat Gas Now Café

coverReviewers on Write:

"Set aside a couple of hours and read this book non-stop. You won't have a choice because you cannot put it down until you have finished. One story just makes you hungry for another. Caution: do not attempt to read one of the stories to another person, because you will be unable to speak, having fallen into uncontrollable spasms of laughter. I tried to read one to my wife and we both fell on the floor howling. This book appeals to outdoor persons of course, but the humor will not be lost on anyone."

"My name is Woodrow and I'm in this dang book. Let me tell you it's all a pack of lies. Most of the stuff Reavis wrote about me NEVER EVEN HAPPENED! Well, SOME of it may have happened, but I don't think he needs to be airing all of our dirty longjohns out in public. Doc, Wrong Willie, Jerry Wayne and all the rest of us agree Reavis needs some kind of therapy... and fast. And I don't mean the kind of therapy he's been getting from Charlie Daniels' brother, Jack, if you know what I mean."

"Eat Gas Now by R. Wortham brings two things together that makes me giggle: first, a group of hunting buddies who enjoy each other's company probably more than hunting (it's a male bonding thing); and second, the diner that graces any small town where locals sip coffee and trade yarns. This group reminds me of my 'lunch bunch' who just have a funny way of looking at things. I highly recommend this book."

From the Publisher:

Doreen's 24 Hour Eat Gas Now Café is one of those reader-friendly books written to be consumed in small portions—short, funny stories that follow the escapades of a colorful cast of characters you'll feel you've known in your own life. The problem with that design is that once you pick it up, you will find it hard to put it down, so instead of serving its humor in small bites, you'll probably end up gobbling it all down in one setting. Which is fine. It's one funny book. If you've ever hung around a local coffee haunt, you'll identify with the likes of Delbert P. Axelrod, "Wrong" Willie, Doc, the ever splendid Trixie, and of course Doreen, the main characters who populate Reavis' thinly disguised fictional diner.

From the Author:

Doreen's 24 Hour Eat Gas Now Café is an oddball look at the unusual interaction between the members of The Hunting Club, a strange collection of outdoorsmen, and the patrons of Doreen's Café. This strange journey into the virtually unexplored interaction of hunters and non-hunters sets the scene for fun and education.

I've been an outdoorsman all my life. In the 1950s I can remember the Old Man taking me down to the Red River in Lamar County, Texas, where I was given a freshly cut cane pole and told to "watch the bobber." I've been watching it ever since.

Once it even bobbed.

I ran through the woods and fields of Lamar County, getting a sunburn on my ears which stuck out under a "Boys Regular" haircut. In the early sixties, I was a pre-teen and could have cared less about competitive sports. The outdoors was It for me. From there we hunted squirrels in the cold mornings of autumn, shot quail and dove in season, and caught catfish in the dreadfully oppressive heat of the Texas summers. It was a boyhood which youngsters today will never know.


I've always had a warped sense of humor anyway, and as part of my own personal therapy, I began writing a "funny" newspaper column for The Paris News in 1988. That's what they called it: funny. I prefer "humor," because you can't be funny all the time. Some people say I only manage humor about once a month, but I respond by saying they can't all be gems.

In the meantime I've always wanted to write a book, and so I wrote three of them. Then I looked around and wondered what to do with the stupid manuscripts. Even I get tired of reading my own stuff, and it looks bad to hang around shopping malls, bathrooms and street corners begging people to read excerpts from a worny, dog-eared manuscript, so I asked Larry Bozka, then editor of Texas Fish and Game Magazine, what he thought about publishing a collection of my columns.

Since I am currently the Humor Editor—see how much better that sounds than Funny Editor—Bozka temporarily lost his mind and agreed to publish those columns which originated in Doreen's Café. There is no "how to" information in these pages, unless you want to know how to have a good time. My real motivation behind the book was to touch hands and hearts with the outdoorsmen across this great nation, and to also bring those same hands and hearts in contact with those who don't share our preferred pastime.

Surprisingly, over eighty percent of the correspondence with my readers comes from the ladies, who have been left behind by husbands and boyfriends as they head for the field. The ladies are, too, a part of the outdoors and enjoy those endeavors as much as the men. In addition, we can all have fun looking at the foolish side of our own society.

I try not to take too much of life very seriously, and you have to be pretty sour not to enjoy at least one or two components of these stories. Strangely, the characters are real, although some of Hunter Thompson's Gonzo style of writing has probably reared its strange and loathsome head beside what I've learned from Pat McManus, the late Gene Hill and Dave Barry.

It's an evil, evil mix.

It is my sincere belief that anyone, male or female, old or young, outdoorsman or what I fondly call Bunnyhuggers, will find truth and humor in these pages. Sometimes I might touch a personal nerve, but it's all in fun, because I laugh at the guys and myself as much as I laugh at this strange and bizarre world in which we live.

I hope you enjoy these stories and take them for what they are, fun, because I'm coming back with another volume soon called Outside Doreen's. By the way, they're supposed to be funn... uh... humorous, too.